Twelve years at Hillsdale would be too much

Johnny Lechner is a 12th-year college senior who describes his experience at University of Wisconsin-Whitewater as “Higher Education Heaven.”

He says he has been “getting the grades, throwing the biggest parties, falling in love once a month, and living the good life” since 1994.

A Nov. 10, 2005, New York Times article reported that Lechner has four majors and has accumulated 242 credits, over 100 more than are required to graduate.

He has been featured on national television shows, is a paid endorser of Monster Energy Drink and is the possible subject of a reality television show based on his life. And National Lampoon has promised to pay his tuition.

Lechner, who has so far paid for education by means of a part-time job and $30,000 in student loans, also received a tuition subsidy from the state of Wisconsin for years.

He finally attracted national attention last year after the Wisconsin Board of Regents created a surcharge that virtually doubles tuition for students who accumulate more than 165 credits.

This surcharge has been dubbed “the Johnny Lechner rule.”

Lechner’s story made us wonder: What would a student be like after 12 years at Hillsdale College?

If such a student’s brain didn’t explode after so many years of liberal arts indulgence, then he would at least be the nerdiest student in Hillsdale’s history.

At the pace of a typical Hillsdale student, he would have accumulated 432 credits—far more than Lechner’s puny 242.

After fulfilling his core requirements, he could acquire approximately 11 humanities majors.

Of course, Hillsdale students (at least, some of them) know how to party too. A 12th-year Hillsdale senior would probably become a party-legend.

He would also become wracked with debt. Assuming his first four years were completely paid for; then assuming the cost of tuition, room and board remained constant; finally, assuming that he continued to eat 15 meals per week in Saga and to live in the dorms all 12 years in order to maintain the most genuine college experience—we estimate his total debt for his final eight years would amount to approximately $192,000.

Our conclusion? A 12th-year Hillsdale senior would be brilliant—he might even, by some miracle, become a social genius.

On the other hand, even (or perhaps, especially) with 11 humanities degrees he would never be able to pay off his massive debt.

Lechner quotes South Park on his Web site, writing that “There is a time and place for everything. It’s called ‘college.’”

We agree, Johnny. We just don’t recommend trying your experiment at Hillsdale.