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Spring in Hillsdale: a fashion guide from
Mark Hellweg
Mark Hellweg
Henry David Thoreau wrote in Walden,
"Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows
religiously the new." How true this is, and how hilarious
our current fashions will be to our grandchildren. So, with
an awareness of how trivial fashion worship is, let us take
a moment to discuss how you can look your best this spring.
At this bastion of cultural diversity, we
also see a fair amount of fashion variety. Some of you have
the temerity to pair an old-school navy blazer with a hoodie
and roughed-up denim, while others would rather stick to the
safe combination of jeans and a T-shirt. Some of you can even
pull off cowboy boots with a camo jacket (I do not recommend
trying this for most of you). It is, of course, natural to wear
what you feel comfortable in, but you can usually find some
good ideas out there on how to improve your appearance regardless
of your personality. Here are some of your fashion and style
questions, with my answers below.
Q. What sort of shoes can I wear with my
khakis?
Unless you are an assistant basketball coach
at a Midwestern high school, you should never match running
shoes with khakis. This is always a bad call, since running
shoes are colorful and full of gel pockets and aerodynamic plastic
parts. If you want to be comfortable, then choose canvas or
leather sneakers. Puma and Adidas have some retro sneakers that
look nice paired with stonewashed khakis, or you can always
go with a classic pair of Converse sneakers in a neutral color
or, to make a real statement, a bold color like red or green
(around $35).
This reminds me of another fashion rule for
you guys: If you own pleated khakis, throw them away unless
you want to be mistaken for a Best Buy cashier. The only trousers
that look good with pleats are of the woolen suit variety.
I'm in the market for a belt I can wear
with jeans or cargos. Any ideas?
You have many options for belts this spring,
and choosing one that matches your personality is an easy way
to spice up your wardrobe. To start with, you could pick up
a grosgrain belt, which are those colorful striped ribbons you
see now on many Kappa waists. Grosgrain belts can be found at
J. Crew and other stores, or you might even find one secondhand.
The other cool option is a canvas belt with two metal loops
that resembles a safari belt, or alternatively a buckle with
matching grommets. Fossil has a tan one for $20, but the most
unique and authentic by far is from military surplus. I found
one for $10 on Uncle Sam's Army Navy Outfitters' Web site (www.IamUncleSam.com)
What's with all the Hillsdale chicks tanning?
I think it's vain.
Face it my friend; warmer weather makes girls
want to slip into a short skirt or a summer dress. Some, I must
confess, have overdone it, and look more radioactive than radiant.
Girls can be lovely without being dark, as exhibited by the
goddess of good taste, Nicole Kidman, but they should not be
ridiculed for seeking a little color. Girls, if you don't already,
you might want to try a low SPF on your face when you tan. You
will look more natural, but more importantly, you will be grateful
you did when you are 40!
I hate tying my tie! No one in my dorm
knows how to do it right. Is there an easier way to do this?
What a great question! There's an easy way
to tie your neckwear that somehow looks refined in a devil-may-care
kind of way. Called the Four-in-hand, you can learn it in about
three minutes by practicing in front of a mirror. Google "four
in hand," and the first search result has super easy instructions.
Several girls approached me and asked me
to comment on guy's grooming. Here are the basics:
Keep your fingernails short and clean. This
is a very important grooming essential that you should have
learned when you were 6! Do you think a girl is going to let
you touch her with grubby fingers? If she does let you, it is
because you have something she wants. So quit being taken advantage
of! File down and clean those nails!
If you were blessed with a unibrow, help the
rest of us from becoming jealous and tweeze it. No reason to
emulate distant Neanderthal heritage on this matter.
After you shave, your skin is thirsty, since
you just scraped a sharp piece of metal over it. Use a good
aftershave that contains aloe vera or witch hazel, and avoid
those gimmicky ones that are basically just colored alcohol.
I recommend Neutrogena Razor Defense, which you can find cheaply
at Wal-Mart. You will notice less razor burn and ingrown hairs
if you use this product regularly.
Do not wear the same outfit the same way more
than once a week. This is tacky and unimaginative. Change it
up a bit; if you love that old Nirvana T-shirt from high school,
wear it alone with jeans one day, then a couple of days later
wear it over a waffle-knit long sleeve t-shirt or under a wrinkled
button down, untucked and with a big belt buckle.
Now, get out there and enjoy the rest of your
semester.
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