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GI Joe versus Cobra
Jacob Harrison
The increasingly ridiculous picture of Howard
Dean as President-a man whose ongoing verbal foibles and antic
behavior make George W. Bush seem like a Greek logician and
master orator-drove panicky Democrats in Iowa to drop him as
the frontrunner of what Bill Murchison recently described as
"one of the most helpless presidential slates an American
political party has ever fielded."
Turns out the average American seems even
less impressed with the maniacal screaming and shaking of red-faced
Dean than they are with what seems like his emotionally unstable
hatred of the President, his socialist economic ideology, his
absolute ignorance of religion, and, most importantly, his cowardly
and impotent position on the current war in Iraq.
Somehow, Dean and the bourgeois-hippy-Marxist
entourage of pop-lib, brain-vacant twenty-something campus-activists
he imported to Iowa last week were shocked to discover their
true political identity: not the rising voice of a communo-pacifist
majority, as they assumed, but simply the most radical and therefore
the most obnoxious minority opinion.
The simple fact is that Americans understand
quite well what the religious murders of Sept. 11 represent.
The event was as clear a warning bell to this nation as has
ever resounded on our shores. A majority of the population-85
to 90 percent-supported a military response, agreeing together
that it is better to fight than to live at home as civilians
in perpetual fear of assassination, which is to say, without
liberty.
The reason why Dean and the rest of these
French-vanilla democratic candidates cannot win in 2004 is precisely
because, in striving to be "anti-Bush," they have
all been forced to tow the accompanying "anti-war"
rhetorical line, an unpopular and frightening stance to the
voting majority.
But I wonder about all those Leftist college
neo-hippies, the "Deaniacs." Who deceived them into
accepting and parroting without question that Americans, if
not the Jews, are the source and sum of all evils and tumults
in the world, to the great discontent of common sense? How have
they been so easily led to believe that they are the heralds
of a new world peace, which, supposedly, can be obtained without
struggle, to the great disconnect of historical reflection?
I bet little "Deaniac" boys grew
up playing with money and remote controls instead of playing
war with toy guns, the way boys should. Yes. Perhaps that's
what happened to them, even before they were indoctrinated with
Leftist dogma from schools of activism such as Oberlin College.
Indeed, any man who remembers the thrill of getting that first
toy automatic rifle, or the double-holster six-shooters with
ring-caps, has got to feel sorry for these little boys today.
Whatever happened to G.I. Joe? It has been a favorite concept
for boys growing up since World War II as an action figure,
comic, cartoon and costume for neighborhood battles between
junior American heroes and their perennial nemesis, the shadow
army called Cobra: a nationless military dictatorship led by
the tyrannical, blue-hooded Cobra Commander, whose Nazi-Terrorist-Grand
Wizard-ish visage unmistakably identified him as evil.
For over 50 years in neighborhoods across
America, it has been universally deemed better to be a part
of the Joe side than the Cobra side. That was because the game
always ended the same. It was over when the G.I. Joe kids finally
stormed the Cobra kids' fort, and the Joes, having decimated
the enemy's troops, ripped the oppressive hood off of Cobra
Commander before gunning him down in his evil lair.
Nowadays, I suppose that boys caught playing
such a game would be considered a product of parental abuse:
mentally unstable and in need of large doses of Prozac and gender/race
counseling.
Democrats like Dean have fewer excuses for
their anti-U.S. military sentimentality than these kids; he
was raised in the period when anti-Americanism was still considered
a counter-cultural position. Today, it is taught as a given
in most universities that America and her army are the most
corrupt and tyrannical force on the planet, whose object has
always been global imperialism and the enslavement of ethnic
minorities, children and the poor.
What would happen today if a schoolyard war
game broke out during recess that pitted the freedom-fighting
U.S. soldiers' team against the anti-Semitic al-Qaida terrorists'
team? Some progressive watchdog organization would probably
swoop in to sue the school and try to take the kids away from
their parents. That's the problem. Kids aren't allowed to think
in terms of good guys and bad guys anymore.
Instead, schoolboys are encouraged to draw
pictures of their private parts or render a collage of their
confused emotional landscape by the blending and splattering
of finger paints, but it is considered "unnatural"
for a boy to produce a crayoned sketch of a B1-bomber dropping
a huge payload onto the head of a fascist dictator.
Because the modern family, the modern church,
our modern government's welfare programs and the Hollywood education
industry have overwhelmingly failed to instill some degree of
moral sense or discernment into the youth, we are left with
little choice but to look to video games for the proper instruction
of our children.
Certain games, like XBox's Desert Storm II: Back to Baghdad
yield some hope for America's youth. Shocking to say, players
in this game are not given the option to play for the Baathist
side, but are forced to fire rounds, throw grenades, and call
in air strikes as one of four U.S. military heroes on a mission
to bring Saddam Hussein to justice. In this game, the terrorists
are evil and the U.S. soldiers are good; you do not target civilians,
you kill enemy troops in battle.
Someone should send this game to Howard Dean
and all the other fem-Democratic candidates so they can learn,
along with America's children, what it might be like to fight
and sacrifice for something greater than themselves.
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